Zelda Survivor
by Pokegirl
Summary: We all love that show Survivor.Now you can go to the island with your fave Zelda Ocarina of Time characters.This is funny! Read and review Please!I found my self laughing my head off the 12th time I read it!Enjoy!
1. Zelda Survivor Day 1

2 tribes of 7 people will be stranded on an island for 40 days who will win?  
  
The two tribes will be dropped off in the middle of nowhere today.From there they will have to find their camp then they will have to figure out how to get fire,food,and water.Let's see how it goes.  
  
(they show the tribes running out of their boat then they look at their maps)  
  
Let's check out the leaf tribe first.  
  
Link:Alright people I'll take care of this map we will be in camp in no time!  
  
Malon (whispering to Saria):We are so dead!  
  
Saria:Yep!  
  
Link:What are you guys saying back there?  
  
Malon and Saria:Nothing!  
  
Navi:HEY LOOK LISIEN!HEY HEY LOOK!LISIEN LOOK!HEY LOOK LISIEN!LOOK LISIEN HEY!HEY........  
  
(Link slams her againest a stone a couple times and knocks her out.)  
  
Carpenter Boss:HA HA HA you are all worthless!  
  
Ruto:I don't see you helpping!  
  
CB:HA HA HA HA HA(keeps on laughing the intire way)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Now the fire tribe)  
  
  
  
Impa:I'll take the map.  
  
Zelda:What if break a nail.Oh my gosh I'm sun burned!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Ganon(is laughing too hard to say anything,he starts rolling on the ground)  
  
(With Ganon rolling around laughing and Zelda running around screaming their's quite a sight going on!)  
  
Kapoora:Do you know how loooooooooooong I can keep talking?I can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk so we just stand here all day so we don't get anywhere and waste our time.You know I never stop talking and talking and talking and talking and talking talking and...............(keeps on going)  
  
(Now their realy is a scene going on with Kapoora not stopping talking Gannon still rolling in laughter and Zelda screaming)  
  
(Impa takes a nap on the map)  
  
(Mido slams his head on a tree)  
  
(Talon just sits there looking defeated)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back with the leaf tribe)  
  
Malon (to Link):Alright Mr. big shout where are we now?!  
  
Link(really nervous)Yum...........on the ground.  
  
(everybody but Link falls down Anime style)  
  
Malon:You have been dragging us around all day and you don't know where your going!  
  
Ruto:Come on it's not my Linky's fault!  
  
Link:What did she call me!!!AHHHHHHHHHH(runs around in circles)  
  
(You see Malon and Ruto yelling at each other in the background as Link runs around freaked out)  
  
(The Carpenter boss stands there with an Anime sweatdrop)  
  
(The Cuccoo lady and her Cuccoo pick up the map and she says something to her Cuccoo)  
  
Cuccoo lady:Hey everybody my Cuccoo knows the way!  
  
(Everybody stops what they're doing and starts laughing really hard.)  
  
Cuccoo lady:What's so funny?  
  
Malon:We might as well try it what do we have to lose.I bet that Cuccoo's a better guide then Link!  
  
Link:What!I'll show you! I bet you my dinner that that Cuccoo will get us lost!  
  
Cuccoo lady:Deal!  
  
Link:Hee Hee more food for me.  
  
Ruto:I can't bealive we are following a stupid Cuccoo around!  
  
(They start following it)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(They are finally walking but Kapoora is still talking)  
  
Zelda:My poor skin!Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!  
  
Ganon:This is worth having that anoining woman substitute for me.  
  
Mido:You mean that lady that almost burnred down my whole town while I was gone.  
  
***The scene flashes to Gerudo Town***  
  
(It shows a woman standing by a torch talking to a guard)  
  
woman:Yes,then you take the night shift by the.......Uh Oh!(She acicdently knocks down the torch and a tree starts burning)  
  
guard:Ganon isn't going to like this........................................................................ ........................................  
  
***Scene flashes back***  
  
(Ganon looks very worried and starts rolling on the ground in panic)  
  
Talon:What's up with him.  
  
Zelda:Who knows?  
  
Impa:You people have proublems!Why do I have to be stuck with the fruit cakes?  
  
Kappoora(still talking):and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps on going)  
  
(Impa tries to knock herself out with a stone)  
  
(Ganon is still panicing)  
  
(redead, witch isn't doing anything is just sucking the life out of a tree)  
  
(Mido has succeeded in knocking himself out on a tree)  
  
(Zelda is still panicing about her sunburn)  
  
(Talon just stands their looking defeated)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(They finally arrive)  
  
Malon:Hey,we'are here!  
  
Ruto:That Cuccoo knew what it was doing!  
  
Link:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!My dinner!  
  
Malon:HA HA!Link is stupider than a Cuccoo!  
  
(Everyone but Ruto laughs at Link)  
  
Link(flushed):GRRRR,Let's just start getting our shelter built!  
  
Malon:Cuccoo lady,Navi,Ruto look for food.Everyone else start building!  
  
Link:Fine!(picks up log and trips on another,he lays there knocked out.)  
  
Saria:Okay.................................................................. .........  
  
(Cuccoo Lady,Navi,and Ruto set off)  
  
(CB and Malon start building)  
  
(Saria makes sure Link is still alive)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Ganon has been really quiet)  
  
(They are back to walking)  
  
Zelda:WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!I broke a nail!  
  
Impa:NO!Don't you people start again!Every time Zelda complans a big scene starts and we just waste time!I can't take it!You people shut up!You are going to make me get lost!GRRRRRRR!( she kicks a tree and it falls down)  
  
(Everyone looks freaked out and shuts up except Kappoora who's still talking)  
  
(Impa looks realived and keeps going, everyone follows her.)  
  
Kapoora:and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps going)  
  
(Everyone is afraid of Impa now)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Cucco lady,Navi,and Ruto)  
  
Ruto:I have been studying on which plants are safe to eat.  
  
Cuccoo lady:Can we eat these dangerous looking mushrooms with red dots?  
  
Ruto:Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................yes!  
  
Navi:HEY LOOK LISIEN!LISIEN HEY LOOK!HEY HEY LOOK!LOOK LISIEN HEY!(Cuccoo lady's cuccoo starts trying to eat Navi.)HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!  
  
(Cuccoo lady and Ruto stand their with anime sweatdrops and then start picking mushrooms)  
  
**  
  
**  
  
(Link,CB,Saria,and Malon)  
  
(CB,Saria,and Malon are making the finishing totches on the shelter)  
  
(Link is still knocked out)  
  
Malon:We could be done by now if Link wouldn't of been so clumsey,that stupid show-off!  
  
Saria:Oh well,we'are almost done anyway!  
  
CB:HA HA HA you people are worthless!  
  
Malon:Hey!Who's doing most of the work!  
  
CB:You.  
  
Saria:So why are you calling us worthless?  
  
CB:Habit,HA HA HA!  
  
Malon:He must of been in the sun to long!  
  
Saria:Yep!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(They finally arrive)  
  
Impa:Alright people get to work!  
  
(Kappoora still talking bumps into a bunch of trees and they fall down and they form a hut)  
  
everyone but Kappoora:HUH??????????????????????????????????????????  
  
Impa:Okay......................... well.............. it's already dark so let's eat those berries and rest.  
  
Kappoora:and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps going)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Ruto,Navi,and Cucco lady come back with mussrooms and water)  
  
(Saria cooks the mussrooms and they get ready to eat)  
  
Link (biting into mussroom):Yuck!!!!!!!(goes to bushes and pucks)  
  
(everyone else eats them because there isn't anything else to eat.the mussrooms taste really bad so an hour later everyone is running to the trees)  
  
(They go to bed later cross and tried)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(they are lieing in their hut)  
  
Impa:Finally I can get some peace and quiet.  
  
Ganon:Only one problem.  
  
Impa:What?  
  
(Ganon points to Kappoora who's STILL talking in his sleep)  
  
Kappoora (asleep):and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps going)  
  
Everyone but Kappoora:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
(Kappoora keeps talking all night)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(End of day 1) 


	2. Zelda Survivor Day 2

It's Day 2.Let's see how it goes.  
  
( here we are with the leaf tribe)  
  
(They are feeling better from yesterdays mussroom incident.)  
  
Link:Remind me never to let anyone send Ruto to look for food.  
  
(everyone agrees)  
  
(Cuccoo lady's cuccoo has been squaking all night)  
  
Link:That's why I woke up this early,stupid Cuccoo!  
  
Cuccoo lady:HEY!!!  
  
Ruto:Time for breakfeast!How about some more lovely bitter mushrooms!  
  
Everyone but Ruto:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Malon:That's it!I'm finding some real food!  
  
(an arrow with a message flies though the air and misses Navi about 2 inches)  
  
Everyone but Navi:AWWWWWWWWWWWW,it almost hit her!  
  
CB:It has a message,HA HA HA HA HA!  
  
Saria:It says-Come to tops stream at 2 for a reward challenge!  
  
Link:Maybe food!(runs around excited and knocks himself out on a tree)  
  
Malon:Not again!He better be up for the challenge or he's toast.  
  
Saria:No, don't say anything that reminds me of food!  
  
(Navi eats her seed happily)  
  
Cuccoo:Hey!She's eating behind are backs!  
  
Malon:Let's get her!  
  
Saria:Yeah!  
  
(Everyone chases Navi in rage,except Link who's still knocked out)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(now let's see fire tribe)  
  
Kappoora(has been talking all night):and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps on going)  
  
(everyone else sits there tired and red eyed)  
  
Ganon:That's it!That stupid owl is sleeping 20 feet away from the hut at night!(trys to keep talking but falls asleep)(snore)  
  
Zelda:WAAAAAAAAAAAH!I lost my beauty sleep!  
  
Mido:Do you EVER stop complaneing!You're the worst after Kappoora!  
  
(Impa get's really anoied and pushes Kappoora out of the hut and knocks Zelda out with one of the huts posts.Then she fell asleep and now everything was noisy with Impa and Ganon snoring and Kappoora talking)  
  
(The arrow with message missed Mido's head by an inch and he faints)  
  
(The redead was left behind along time ago and is still shucking the life out of that tree.)  
  
(Kappoora is the only one consense and is still talking.)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to the leaf tribe)  
  
Link:Alright let's get going we have to ready!I bet the fire tribe is all prepaird and jogging!  
  
Malon:Your the one that always knocks himself out!  
  
Link:That's not true!(lifts his head out of the hut and hits himself on the head and lies their knocked out)  
  
Malon:Not true huh?  
  
Saria:I saw one of the fire tribe member it was sucking the life out of a tree.  
  
Everyone but link :What.  
  
(everyone stands there with anime sweatdrops)  
  
(and link is still knocked out)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(They are all awake.)  
  
(Ganon finds the message and reads it to everybody.)  
  
Impa:That means someone has to get the redead,it's proubley still sucking the life out of that tree.  
  
Talon:I wonder where they get those losers!  
  
Mido:If we have to vote someone out I'm voteing that Redead!  
  
(Everyone agrees.)  
  
Impa:Ganon,go get the redead!  
  
Ganon:What!Why me?  
  
Impa:Your evil,remember?  
  
Ganon:Let's just send the owl,so I can get some peace and quiet for once!  
  
(Everyone agrees.)  
  
Impa(to Kappoora):Hey Kappoora,can we talk with you.  
  
(Kappoora's eyes light up and he get's excited.)  
  
Ganon:Don't look at me!  
  
Impa:It was your idea!  
  
Ganon:Fine(walks over to Kappoora mumbleing)  
  
Ganon:Kappoora,yum,can we ask you a favor?(takes cover behide a rock)  
  
Kappoora(in it's loud anoing voice):Of course you can ask me!You can ask me anything!I know everything!Everything I know!For I am Kappoora!Kappora the owl!Kappoora the genis!Kappoora the friendilest guy!Kappoora the people owl!Kappora, the guy that tell you things you know already over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and and over and over and over and over and over and and over and over and over........(keeps going)  
  
Ganon(desprate):Alright,alright,I'll go.(comes out from hiding spot(rock))  
  
(Ganon gets all upset and doesn't look were he's going and walks into a tree by the hut,he lays their knocked out)  
  
Impa: Now that's pathedic!Fine I'll get him!  
  
(Impa's going get the redead somehow)  
  
(Ganon still lies their knocked out)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Link is consence now and has plenty of bruises so far)  
  
Link:What happend to Navi?She's quiet!  
  
Malon:Well, we shut her up alright!(laughs a very loud evil sounding laugh)  
  
(Everyone stops what their doing and stares at her)  
  
Malon:It worked at the Gerudos festibal.  
  
***flashback***  
  
(It looks like Malon isn't fitting in her and Link are the only ones that aren't Gerudos)  
  
Gerudo 1:Hey why are you here you snunk in here didn't you?  
  
Malon(all nervous)(she talks in a fake acsent):Yum,me (I'm) sorry,me and me(my) broter (brother) are evil majistans,and he is very mach(much) pain so I wannet(wanted) him to vest(rest).  
  
Link (not very convenceing):ow. ow. pain. pain.  
  
(Malon jabs his ribs very hard)  
  
Link(in pain):AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Gerudo 2:Prove it!  
  
(Malon does the evil laugh very loud and everybody stares at them)  
  
***end of flashback***  
  
(Link interupts the flashback)  
  
Link:That didn't help,they just beat us up and kicked us of the bridge!  
  
(Malon laughs nevrously)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Impa finally came back but she can't get the redead of her.)  
  
(Ganon has been trying to get it off of her while everyone else laughs at them.)  
  
Ganon:I think I got this stupid thing!(pulls hard and falls into tree and lies there knocked out)  
  
(everyone laughs so hard they almost choke)  
  
(The redead finally gets off her and starts sucking the life off an other tree.)  
  
(Impa still stands there really mad and embarssed and then makes sure Ganon is still alive.)  
  
(everyone laughs harder)  
  
(later they leave for the challage Ganon needs Impa's help to walk.It looks very funny!)  
  
(and Talon ended up carrying the redead)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Reward challage)  
  
(The fire tribe makes a scene with Ganon leaning on Impa limping,Talon not being able to get the redead off,Kappoora talking non-stop,Zelda worried about her sunburn,and Mido looking humiliated.)  
  
(The whole leaf tribe starts laughing at them hard.)  
  
Ganon and Impa:Hey,we have been laughed at enough today!  
  
(fire tribe remebers what happend earlier and laughs at Ganon and Impa.)  
  
(Ganon and Impa look very mad now!)  
  
(Pokegirl(the host)stands their with an Anime sweatdrop.)  
  
Pokegirl:Okay,yum,well heres what you have to do,each tribe member picks a partner but,one.You have to go throw the maze with a partner with your legs tied together,the people without a partner tell them where to go.The tribe with all it's people out of maze first wins................................a year supply of rice and some blankets ( a Ta Dah sound effect).  
  
Here's who picks who.  
  
fire tribe  
  
Impa and Ganon  
  
Talon and Redead  
  
Zelda and Mido  
  
Kappoora get's the direction job.  
  
leaf tribe  
  
Link and Malon  
  
Ruto and CB  
  
Saria and Cuccoo  
  
Navi get's the direction job.  
  
*** ***  
  
It starts.  
  
fire tribe: (Impa and Ganon go first.)  
  
Kappoora:I am the great Kappoora giving directions,the great Kappoora that keeps talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking.......(keeps going)  
  
Impa:Oh No!We're doomed!  
  
Ganon:Oh well let's at least try to find our way.(They start looking.)  
  
leaf tribe:(Link and Malon go first.)  
  
Navi:HEY,go left!HEY,go down!HEYgo strait!Keeps telling them directions.  
  
*** ***  
  
The leaf tribe wins,and it takes 5 hours to get Ganon and Impa out of the maze.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------leaf tribe  
  
(goes to bed happy in victory, but some of them still have to run to the trees^_-!)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
fire tribe  
  
They make Kappoora sleep 20 feet from the hut,but they still can hear him talking.Impa and Ganon are still humiliated because they got lost in the maze for 5 hours.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------(End Of Day 2) 


	3. Zelda Survivor Day 3

( Day 3 here it is)  
  
(Here's leaf tribe, the're happy now that they have real food.)  
  
(Link has been all happy.)  
  
(but they don't have a pan or a fire)  
  
Link:Now we can have a real breakfeast yay!!!  
  
Malon:Hey,Mr. Genis, I think your forgeting something!  
  
Link:What could I be forgetting?!Just remember, I'm Link!Your just Malon!HA HA HA!  
  
Malon:If your so great then why did'nt you rememeber that you cook rice!  
  
Link:Well.....................(laughs nevously).........Oops.  
  
Malon:You idiot!Now what are we going to eat!  
  
Ruto:How about some of my lovey vomit induseing mussrooms!I love it when I cook,don't you Linky!  
  
Link:What did you say!(Runs away from tribe site screaming)  
  
Ruto:Oh well,more for us!  
  
Everyone but Ruto and Link:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(fire tribe)  
  
(Everyone is still laughing at Impa and Ganon for getting lost in the maze.)  
  
Mido:That was so hilarious,how does someone get lost in a maze for 5 hours!? It took the leaf tribe 5 min. for them to finish!  
  
Impa:GRR!Well we had to deal with that owl,if it would of been you you would of been lost too!  
  
Ganon:We better be ready for anything they throw at us we can't let that owl stop us!  
  
Mido:What happend in that maze anyway!  
  
Impa:Why do you want to know so you can share it with the leaf tribe!!!!I'm on to you!  
  
(Mido snickers)  
  
(Impa gets mad and starts chaseing Mido and runs into that same tree that Ganon did the other day, and knocks herself out.)  
  
(Ganon goes towards the tree slips and hits head.)  
  
Ganon:Thats it I'm cutting that tree down........................(falls down unconsence)  
  
Zelda:Oh boy.........................................................................  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Link hasn't come back yet.)  
  
Malon:HA,Mr.tough guy's afraid of a fish girl!  
  
Ruto:I'm not a fish girl I'm a Zora!  
  
Malon:Same thing!  
  
Ruto:Why you little!..................(They get in fist fight and trip on a log and they both get knocked out.)  
  
(Everyone else stands there freaked out.)  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Ganon has been trying to use his knife to cut down the tree,but it results in being knocked out or bruised.He's been trying for the last 4 hours.Impa has been helping too as bruised as Ganon is.)  
  
Ganon:GRRRRRR,THIS STUPID TREE I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING!!!Impa,have I tried cutting it?  
  
Impa: Yes.  
  
Ganon:Chopping it?  
  
Impa:Yes.  
  
Ganon:Kicking it?  
  
Impa:Yes.  
  
Ganon:Hitting it.  
  
Impa:Yes.  
  
Ganon:Pulling it?  
  
Impa:Yes.  
  
Ganon:Pushing it?  
  
Impa:Yes.  
  
Ganon:BLOWING IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Impa:....................................................................... ......................................................................  
  
Ganon:Never mind that one.  
  
(Link comes running.)  
  
Impa:Look it's a leaf tribe member!  
  
Ganon:What the......................................................................... ..........................................  
  
Link:Oh save me from her!!!Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!  
  
(Impa and Ganon look at each other puzzled.)  
  
Link:Did you guys get fire yet?We need to cook!  
  
Ganon:FIRE!That's it!!!!!!!!I think we can make a deal!  
  
(Ganon use's his knife to reflect the sun and to start the tree on fire.The tree bursts in flames.Ganon does a war dance around the tree and runs into another tree and knocks himself out.)  
  
Impa(embressed):Well um,take the fire on a branch and go.  
  
Link:................................................  
  
(Link takes the fire and runs back to his tribe like he's in the Olympics.)  
  
Impa:What a day...................................  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Malon and Ruto are still wacky from getting knocked out by the stump.)  
  
(They see Link in the distance with "the Olympic torch".)  
  
Everyone:huh................................................................ ...........................................................................  
  
Malon:Yay!!!Go team,go!!!  
  
Ruto:Are we in Utah?  
  
Saria:Yum,Malon,Ruto,This isn't Saltlake City,you just see Link with fire on stick.  
  
Malon:Your wrong this is Utah and we are going to watch speed skating.Come on Ruto the Opening Ceromony is over.Let's go to the skating arena!  
  
Ruto:Yay!Let's get popcorn and flowers to throw!  
  
(Malon and Ruto leave conveinced they are in Saltlake City and try to find where the skating arena is.Looks like they are going be crazy for a while.)  
  
Saria:No you idiots!This is not Saltlake!The Winter Olympic are over!  
  
Cuccoo Lady: It's no use.They are going to get lost.  
  
Saria:Now what!The iimunity challenge is today! 


	4. Zelda Survivor Day 3 Part 2

(Here is the second part of day 3,so amuzeing it had to be split up in two sections.)  
  
(We are back are we left off.Lets see how Ruto and Malon are doing,keep in mind that they still think they are in Utah.)  
  
Malon:Hey Ruto,do you see any snack booths,I'm getting hungry.  
  
Ruto:There's one!(Malon and Ruto really found one of the native tribe towns on the island,and now they think one of their huts is a snack booth.)  
  
Malon:Oh!Oh!I hope they have carmel popcorn!  
  
Ruto:Why carmel.  
  
Malon:It tastes good and if we see a bad performance we can throw it at them and it will stick to their outfits for a very long time!  
  
Ruto:Yay!Eat our carmel Michelle Kwan!  
  
Malon:Yeah!  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Ganon has recovered)  
  
Ganon:Darn,By the time I get off this island nobody will be able to see my face,it will be covered with bruises.  
  
Mido:At least you got rid of that tree.Now it's just ashes.  
  
Ganon:Yeah!Wahoo!(Runs around excited,trips on a baby tree,and falls into the forest on a high cliff side.Then he gets brusied, bashed,smashed,slashed,and crashed. He almost falls of the cliff but lands in a cliff gap.)  
  
Zelda:Oh my gosh,too much excitement,not good for complection!(faints)  
  
Ganon:Alright trees!If this is the way you want it this is the way your gonna get it!This means war!  
  
Impa:(Anime sweatdrop)Um,Ganon you might want to try climbing back up here first.  
  
Ganon:(embbarassed)Oh,yes thats right.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
Link:What are we going to do the immunity challenge, starts in 2 hours.  
  
Cuccoo Lady:We need to find them.  
  
Link:Good idea! Let's go find them.  
  
Saria:Yeah,but one problem.  
  
Link:What is it?  
  
Saria:Where do we start looking for a couple of freaks who think they are at the Winter Olympics?  
  
Link:Well,we will just have to try our best.Lets go!I'll lead the way.  
  
Everyone Except Link:(Groans)  
  
Saria:We're doomed.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Ganon has been trying to climb back up for 5 hours.)  
  
Impa:Why don't you ask Kappora to give you a ride.  
  
Ganon:Impa,the point of this game is to survive,not to be suisidel.  
  
Impa:Okay,Okay,I see your point.Here,I'll climb down and help you......(trips and falls all the way down to where Ganon is,but ends up more bruised.)  
  
Ganon:Great,just great,now we're both trapped.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(leaf tribe)  
  
(Malon and Ruto)  
  
(Malon and Ruto have been kicked out of fifty huts,and they just think"the booth is sold out".)  
  
Malon:Man,it sure is busy this time of year.  
  
Ruto:Maybe that booth has a good stock of carmel popcorn.  
  
Malon:Let's see!(Now they're are really introuble,that hut is the chief's hut and he has already heard complaits about them.)  
  
(They go in.)  
  
(On of the cheifs servents sees them and points to them as if explaning who's been causeing the comotion.)  
  
Malon:Hello,how are you.We would like 5......  
  
Ruto:(interupts)10.  
  
Malon:10 bags of carmel popcorn.  
  
(The chief grunts some orders to his guards and they start carrieing Ruto and Malon to the dungen.)  
  
Ruto:They must be escorting us to a booth that's in stock.  
  
Malon:How nice of them!  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to fire tribe.)  
  
(Ganon and Impa have been calling for help and Mido finally hears.)  
  
Mido:Ha!You boneheads!How does anyone get trapped on a side of a cliff.Let me show you how it's done.(Mido starts walking down but then hits his head on a low tree branch and rolls down to where Ganon and Impa are and lies there knocked out.)  
  
Ganon:(sarcastictly)Wow,that really helped.  
  
(Impa and Ganon moan like they have given up on life.)  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Link's search party.)  
  
(Link looks very worried.)  
  
Saria:So where do go now.  
  
Link:Well 1+1 is 2 so that means elephants bras are purple,so we should go East.  
  
Everyone except Link:(A shocked silence and freaked looks on faces.)  
  
CB:I think we need to get this guy into some shade.HA HA HA!  
  
Link:Ha you don't bealive me do you?Well let me just remind you that I'm Link,the best guy around!  
  
Saria:If your so great,then where are we?  
  
Link:(Gets really quiet and turns pale.)  
  
Saria:We're lost aren't we.  
  
Link:(Nods)  
  
Cuccoo Lady:Don't worry my Cuccoo knows the way if you just let her take control of the search party......  
  
Link:(interupts)Hey now,just wait a second,You expect me to let a CUCCOO take charge.  
  
Cuccoo Lady:She did it last time,you still owe me dinner from that.  
  
Link:Your Cuccoo was just lucky.  
  
Cuccoo Lady:Luckier than you'll ever be.  
  
Link:(turns steaming red and looks really mad.)  
  
(Cuccoo Lady's cuccoo stand up in front like it's ready to take charge,then everyone but Link starts to follow it.)  
  
Link:What do you think your doing?!  
  
(Nobody answers and keeps walking,so Link is forced to follow.)  
  
Link:This is so humiliateting.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(They have been calling for help and Zelda hears.)  
  
Zelda:You expect me to go down there,HA,I don't think so!The trees might mess up my hair,maybe I'll call a chopper,good bye losers!(walks away with glory but trips over the ashes and get's soiled with ashes.)  
  
Ganon:HA HA!!!  
  
Zelda: At least I'm not down there,and oh yeah I forgot to tell you poisonis maggots nest in that area.  
  
Ganon:(Gets really pale and freaked out.)  
  
Zelda:Now who's laughing.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(Back to leaf tribe)  
  
(The search party finally made it to the village,but feel embbressed when people in the street point and laugh at them for following a Cuccoo.)  
  
(The Cuccoo leads them to the dungen where the guard is asleep.)  
  
  
  
Saria:They must be in here.  
  
Link:I bet they caused a comotion.  
  
(They finally meet up with Ruto and Malon.)  
  
Malon:Hi guys!We are waiting for the shopkeeper to come back.  
  
Ruto:We're getting carmel!  
  
Link:Man,have they lost it.  
  
Saria:Let's just get out of here.  
  
(The guard wakes up.)  
  
Cuccoo Lady:RUN!  
  
(They're start trying to out run the whole town who is chaseing them now.)  
  
Malon:Wow!We must be in an Olympic race!How exciteing!  
  
Ruto:Yay!We're compeating in the Olympics!  
  
Link:Shut up and just run.  
  
(It looks like they are doommed intill a helicopter turns up out of the blue.It has Pokegirl and Zelda in it.)  
  
Link:What are you doing here?  
  
Pokegirl:We are making our rounds saving people today.  
  
(The leaf tribe looks confused)  
  
Pokegirl:Just get in.  
  
(The leaf tribe climbs in and they fly away.)  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Ganon,Mido,and Impa are still trapped.)  
  
Ganon:I'm doomed.  
  
Mido:I'm confused.  
  
Impa:I'm irritated.  
  
Ganon:What are we going to do and where did Zelda go?  
  
Zelda:(from helicopter)I'm up here.  
  
(A Tah Dah sound effect)  
  
(everyone trapped looks confused)  
  
Pokegirl:Get in already.  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______(in helicopter)  
  
Link:So we all had to be saved.  
  
Ganon:I guess this is a bad day for us.  
  
Impa:Um,guys,We always have a bad day.  
  
Ganon:Oh yes,thats right.  
  
Pokegirl:Oh great,It's midnight.You will have to do the immunity challenge tommarrow.Oh and do me a favor and be extra careful,don't get trapped or lost.  
  
Everyone:OK!  
  
(Pokegirl drops them off,and they try and sleep,except the fire tribe didn't get much sleep because of Kappoora.)  
  
(End of Day 3)  
  
____________________________________________________________________________ ______ 


	5. Zelda Survivor Day 4

(Here's day four.)  
  
(let's see how the leaf tribe is doing.)  
  
Link:Man did yesterday suck,and it was all your fault Ruto and Malon,  
  
Malon:Our fault?We were just getting some nice food to throw intill you dragged us in that race,which was pretty cool and all.But we were planning on saveing you guys seats,and now we missed the first day!  
  
Ruto:It's okay,we'll just catch up today!!!!Let's Go!!!!  
  
Malon:YAY!!!!  
  
(Ruto and Malon start to leave.)  
  
Link:Oh no!!!!Saria grab Malon,Cucco Lady get Ruto!!!Somebody tie them up  
  
!!!  
  
(They try to catch Ruto and Malon,but they just keep running away from them thinking it's a new Olympic event.)  
  
Malon:(running)Wow neat!!!I'm compeating in the Olympics again!!!This must be the run away from dress man event.  
  
Link:(gets steaming mad again)WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!!!HOW DARE YOU!!!(tries to get Malon but runs into a tree and gets knocked out.)  
  
Malon:(jumps up and down on Link)YAY!!!WE WON!!!!  
  
(Malon and Ruto start crying and hug and then they keep jumping on Link yelling"WE WON" over and over.)  
  
Saria:Stop jumping so hard you'll kill him!!!!  
  
Cuccoo Lady:Something tells me this will be a very long day.  
  
Saria:(moan)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Everyone is still asleep except Ganon,he's been outside ever since 1 A.M. keepin everyone awake with loud sounds.)  
  
Impa:That's it I'm seeing what he's up to.(leaves the hut)  
  
(Impa leaves the hut to see Ganon dressed in army clothes holding a slingshot,an ax,and a bag with nuts for the slingshot.)  
  
Impa:(freaked out )Ganon what are you doing?  
  
Ganon:(whispering)Be quiet they might hear you.  
  
Impa:(confused)Who might hear me?  
  
Ganon:THEM.  
  
Impa:(really freaked out)who's "them".  
  
Ganon:THE TREES.  
  
Impa:Maybe you shoundn't of eaten all of those berrys last night!!!  
  
Ganon:They've hated me ever since we came,we're intrudeing on their territory.They want to get rid of us can't you tell?Remember yesterday?They had it planned all along,I heard them whispering that morning...they are smart,(starts yelling)BUT NOT SMARTER THEN ME!!!!(starts kicking a stump)Remember that tree I burned,that was their leader.Now they want revenge!(yelling)BUT I'M READY OH YES I AM(laughs insanely)  
  
Impa:(backs up very freaked out into the hut.)  
  
Zelda:So what's up?  
  
Impa:I think we should stay inside for awhile.(tapes the entrance shut and pushes a trunk against it)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Ruto and Malon are still bragging about their " victory".)  
  
Saria:We have to think of a way to get them to the immunity challenge!!!  
  
CB:Why don't we just tell them it's an Olympic Event.HA HA HA!!!  
  
Saria:That's a great idea!!!  
  
CB:I have to do everything all the time don't I,HA HA HA!!!  
  
Saria:Actually,you just stand in that corner all day and laugh at the ocean telling it your better than it.  
  
CB:It boosts my comfedence.HA HA HA(goes back to corner)HA HA HA OCEAN!!!I KNOW HOW TO EAT AND YOU AREN'T EVEN ALIVE!!!!HA HA HA!!!!  
  
Saria:okay........  
  
Ruto:I have an idea!!!Let's sing a song!!!  
  
Saria:(screams)  
  
Ruto:(singing very badly as loud as she can.)WE ARE,HEEEEEERE AT THEEEEE EEEEEELMPICS(olympics) AND WE ARE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING TOO WE EVEN STOMPED ON THE DRESS MAN BETTER THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN YOU WE EAT MOLDY RICE EVERYDAY AND NIGHT AND IT WORTH IT CAUSE WE GET TO STOMP ON THE DRESS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN(keeps going)  
  
Saria:(screaming)Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!Make it stop!!!!!  
  
Malon:Let's dress up like the Teletubbies!!!!!  
  
Saria:I can't take it!(knocks herself out with a stone.)  
  
Ruto:(still singing)AND THE DRESS MANS DRESS IS GREEN AND IT BLENDS IN THE FOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST AND THAT MAKES HIM HARD TO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH!!!(keeps singing)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(back to fire tribe)  
  
(Impa and Zelda are now out of the hut because they needed to eat.Mido is still asleep,the redead is trying to suck the life out of a hut post,Talon has been unable to get out of the hut for awhile because he's trapped under Zelda's luggage.Kappoora is perched on the top of the hut still talking.Ganon is still at war with the trees,he looks like he's plotting something.)  
  
  
  
Zelda:Hey Ganon,do you want some lunch?The immunity challenge is coming up.  
  
Ganon:Just a second let me jot down my final plan.(laughs evily while writing in a notebook.)  
  
Zelda:okay..............  
  
Talon:(from inside hut)I like pink.  
  
Impa:Why did you say that?  
  
Talon:I haven't said anything in awhile and pink is all I see under Zelda's stuff.  
  
Zelda:That made no sense.......  
  
Impa:Well the author of this fic is totally insane!!!!  
  
Pokegirl:(somewhere else at key board)Muah ha ha ha!!!!(lightning flashes.)  
  
Talon:I don't bealive you she can't control this story can she?  
  
Pokegirl:(her voice out of nowhere):Oh Yes I can!!!  
  
Talon:Make it rain flameing rotton fish!!!  
  
(it starts raining flameing rotton fish.)  
  
Impa:Okay Okay stop!!!  
  
(it stops raining flameing rotton fish.)  
  
Pokegirl:Just had to teach you a lesson A HA HA HA HA HA (cough) HA HA!!!  
  
(everything get's back to normal)  
  
Zelda:This is a weird day,  
  
Impa:It's always a weird day.  
  
Ganon:Okay everyone I just finished planning my plot,no planning my plan,no plotting my plot,no plotting my plan,right?  
  
Impa:Are you feeling okay?  
  
Ganon:Just protecting our hut (does salute) now I must prepare,(marches into hut,throws Mido out and you can hear hammering inside.)  
  
Zelda:He's lost it.  
  
Impa:Ganon it's about time to leave for the immunity challenge.  
  
Ganon:Okay just let me hide my plan under this pink stuff.  
  
Talon:You freed me!!!  
  
Zelda:Hey!!!Watch it in their!!!  
  
Impa:Kappoora it's time to leave.  
  
Kappoora:Yes,Kappoora is ready,Kappoora the best guy is ready,Kappoora the guy that keeps talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking(keeps going)  
  
Impa:Talon,carry the Redead.  
  
Talon:(carrying the Redead)This isn't fair,when everyone else carrys the redead nothing happens but when I carry it my energy gets sucked(you can see the Redead sucking the energy out of Talon on his back.)  
  
Impa:That's because it only got to suck the life out of an already dead pole,if your going to carry it let it suck some energy out of a tree.  
  
Zelda:...............................................  
  
(They leave.)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(back to leaf tribe)  
  
(Ruto is still singing.)  
  
(CB(Carpenter Boss)is still yelling at the ocean.)  
  
(Malon is still trying to get everyone to dress up.)  
  
Link:(wakes up)Oh gosh,my head feels like its been in a cement mixer.  
  
Saria:Well,we're going through worse!  
  
Link:(looks confused for a moment but then sees Ruto singing and Malon trying to force an outfit on the Cuccoo Lady,he's used to CB yelling at the ocean.)OH GODDESS.  
  
Ruto:(still singing)AND WHEN YOU GET THE DRESS MAN MAD HIS FACE WILL GET ALL RED SO IT'LL LOOK LIKE CHRISTMAS CAUSE THE DRESS MANS DRESS IS GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!(keeps singing)  
  
Link:(steaming vegatable mad)THAT'S IT!!!!!IF YOU CALL ME DRESS MAN ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA........  
  
(just in the nick of time the Cuccoo Lady escapes Malon and comes over)  
  
Cuccoo Lady:The immunity challenge is coming up,shouldn't we get going?  
  
Link:Oh yes that's right,Hey everyone it's time to leave for the immunity challenge!  
  
CB:Already!But I was going to tell the ocean how much better I look than it.  
  
Everyone except CB:(a shocked silence)  
  
Link:Alright everyone let's go!  
  
Ruto:I'll sing the whole way.  
  
Everyone except Ruto:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
(they leave with Ruto still singing about the "dress man")  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(immunty challenge)  
  
(the leaf tribe shows up an hour late.)  
  
Malon:Link and Ruto got into a fight.  
  
Link:Ruto keeps calling me a dress man.  
  
Ruto:Well you are!  
  
Link:TUNIC!!!IT'S A TUNIC!!!!NOT A DRESS A TUNIC!!!!!  
  
Pokegirl:Let's just get to the challenge.  
  
Ganon:Does it involve trees?I'm at war against them you know.  
  
Talon:Is it about escaping pink clothes?I know how to do that.  
  
Malon:Does it include forceing people to put on costumes?I've been doing that all day.  
  
Impa:Is it about dealing with insanity?I've been doing that all my life.  
  
Pokegirl:No.Your team will be racing the other team to a top of a mountain,the team that grabs the immunity slipper at the top will win.  
  
Saria: Immunity Slipper?  
  
Pokegirl:We were low on money,bear with me!  
  
Ganon:Will this mountain have trees?  
  
Pokegirl:Oh,Yes,plenty.I'm glad you asked this mountain holds the world record for most trees,you will barely see the sun so if you see a sunny spot take advantenge of it.  
  
Ganon:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!Now they sending their army for me,(yelling)BUT THEY CAN'T HAVE ME,TRY IF YOU CAN TREES!!!!  
  
Pokegirl:..............................................................  
  
Zelda:You'll have to excuse him,he has a problem.  
  
Impa:All of you people do.  
  
Pokegirl:Right..............Well teams line up.  
  
(The teams line up.Then they see the mountain they'll have to hike.)  
  
Mido:That thing is huge,  
  
Pokegirl:I didn't say this will be easy.......or fun.(talks evily.)Actually we sent 10 safety testers and only 3 came back.Alive at least,most of them that didn't come back took fire tribes path,(now talks in a happy chirpy voice)Anyways let's get started.On your marks,oh forget it just go!  
  
(The teams start up their paths.)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(fire tribe)  
  
Talon:(still carrying the Redead)No fair!!!Now I have to carry this thing all the way up this mountain.  
  
Impa:I'm putting this Redead as your responsibilty.It's about time you did something,you've been under Zelda luggage for awhile.  
  
Talon:It's not my fault she brought so much stuff!!!  
  
Zelda:Well excuse me but some people can't live without a manicure every evening.  
  
Impa:Oh well let's just go and try to go though this long walk.  
  
Ganon:They're all over!!!They've been plotting this it won't be long before we all start getting knocked out and then they will destroy are camp and make us their slaves!  
  
Impa:Man have you lost it!!!!  
  
Ganon:Maybe we'll have a chance for winning if we're careful(trips on a branch and falls into an tree and smashes his face)I was wrong.................................(falls backwards knocked out)  
  
Impa:Oh great now someones going to have to carry him.  
  
(everyone looks at Impa .)  
  
Impa:Oh no not me,  
  
(a minute later)  
  
(Impa has ended up carring Ganon on her back it looks freaky)  
  
(Nobody noticed but Talon placed the Redead on a tree,a terrible error(you'll see))  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(leaf tribe)  
  
(Ruto has been driving everyone nuts with her singing.)  
  
Link:(all crazy)That's it I can't take it anymore!!!!(grabs Ruto and get's some masking tape out.Then he starts putting several layers on Ruto's mouth so she can't get it off.Then he tapes Malon's hands together so she can't force costumes on people anymore.)  
  
Cuccoo Lady:Thank you!!!(takes off rabbit costume)  
  
(CB takes off Tomas the tank engine hat off.)  
  
Ruto:(even though her mouth is taped she can still hum.She hums the "dress man"song really loud.)  
  
Link:(runs away screaming)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(runs into tree and knocks himself out.)  
  
Saria:Great,just great..........................  
  
Malon:Well someone has to drag him,I can't drag him or put a humiliating costume on him.(looks down to her hands sadly.)  
  
Saria:Oh no,that sad trick isn't going to work this time.  
  
Malon:(giggles evily.as Saria turns around you can see a rabbit tail on the bottom off her swim suit,I guess Malon must have got there some how,see has a bag of those you know.)  
  
Saria:Okay!Okay!I'll drag him.(starts dragging his body along the ground,Link won't wake up soon,his head hit's a rock or a log every second.)  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(Okay,Okay i'm shorting up this chapter so i can work on some of many other storys includeing starting a great idea of mine,but anyways,five hours later.)  
  
(Pokegirl is waiting at the top for the teams to show up.)  
  
(and the fire tribe comes.)  
  
(they grab the slipper.)  
  
Impa:Yes!!!We Won!!!  
  
Ganon:In your face trees!!!!  
  
Pokegirl:Hold on a second all of your team members have to be here.  
  
Impa:What do you mean?All of us are here.  
  
Pokegirl:Where's the Redead?  
  
(everyone looks at Talon.)  
  
Talon:I left it on a tree at the bottom of the trail,I didn't think it would matter.  
  
(the fire tribe starts beating up Talon.)  
  
(The leaf tribe shows up,with Link still being dragged knocked out.)  
  
(The grab the slipper.)  
  
(Malon hands still tied and Ruto mouth still tape jump up and down yelling "WE WON" well Ruto had to hum it.)  
  
(the rest of the leaf tribe run around like they've gone nuts.)  
  
Pokegirl:Well there you have it,an exciting victory for the leaf tribe,an upsetting loss for the fire tribe.Fire tribe,you'll have to vote someone out tonight.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(that night at the vote.)  
  
Pokegirl:Tonight you'll lose a member.  
  
(they vote.)  
  
Pokegirl:I'll count the votes.First vote Talon.  
  
(Impa grins.)  
  
Pokegirl:Second vote,the trees?What the?  
  
Ganon:(laughs evily and runs around like an idiot.)  
  
Pokegirl:.............Okay......................um,third vote,Redead,forth vote Talon,fifth vote Redead,sixth vote Redead.Redead your the first one voted out,give me your torch.  
  
(Redead tries to suck the life out of it's torch.Pokegirl tries to pull it off but it won't move.)  
  
Pokegirl:Security!!!!  
  
(a big guy carries the Redead off,torch and all.)  
  
Pokegirl:Well this was an intiresting vote..............back to your camp.  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
(The fire tribe made Talon sleep tied to a tree like he's going to stay,Ganon works late in the night on his "plan",Kappoora talks in his sleep (like usual) and everyone else tries to sleep with ll the noise by Kappoora and Ganon hammering.)  
  
(The leaf tribe still didn't untape Malon and Ruto,so they have to sleep that way,Link hasn't recovered yet from being dragged around all day,everyone else slept happily in victory.)  
  
Okay this was a short chapter but I'm glad I have it up,I'll try for a much better one next time.^_^LATER!!!  
  
_______________________________________________________________________ 


End file.
